I miss my single day's, I love being married and a mum, its great, don't get me wrong, beats being single any day, there are times though when I remember certain instances and I feel like I do when I remember an old friend. You can literally just get up and go when you felt like it, no responsibilities really, just the good old house hold chores. well there's one thing in life that doesn't wane away for you. I think back at times and realise within me that there was so much that I wasted, opportunities, time, even words, things that I could and should have said but did not. Learning is the biggest thing that I have regrets about, if I had learnt the correct things in the correct manner, there would be so much in my life that would be very different, in a good way. My school days I wish I hadn't let myself be distracted with petty jokes and games all in the vain aimless aim of reaching popularity, sixth form, I wish I asserted myself in my studies a lot more and maximised my potential, university, alhamdulillah, that was much better as I had grown up by then, I had just got back from spending three of the most amazing years in syria, so I had transformed a lot by then, I learnt that I had a spiritual depth that I had never explored, I absolutely loved discovering it and I had also let go of a lot of the charcteristics within me that had focused my vision solely on this life and nothing beyond it. I think I just kinda forgot about the after life before then. Hmmm, its wierd when I think about it. I thank the good Lord for rectifying a lot in my life. Why do I write this, well I am simply reflecting on matters that are affecting my state of being at the moment, remembering when I had nothing to hold on to for hope, remembering when I didn't know I had something to hold on to. Its really hard sometimes thinking back, the times that I do miss were all fundamentally the days that I had started to turn to Allah, the days that Allah made me see beyond my tunnel vision of life and all its affairs, that's when I met the people, the beautiful girls from the world over who helped me to change my perspective on every aspect of life through the different stages of my humanity. I miss them all now and am overwhelmed with this feeling of longing as I know for sure that some of them I will never see again. Its ok though, they played their part in my life, just like I in theirs, that's what Allah has written and nothing is better than that........ Or not. Meeting in paradise would far supercede being better than that! Looking back now, the only reason I miss my single days is because I wish I had used them all up for the sole purpose of gaining Allah's pleasure, nothing less,I am blessed to have been given the opportunity to grow and realise, as I think to those who have not been given this chance. The lesson here is to make use of your bashful years, don't waste them only to regret in the future, as with marriage comes serious responsibilities that require the human mind and soul to be at a certain station in order to be able to do it right, Gods way. I pray to Allah to forgive us all for our shortcomings and to give us the blessing in our time left of rectifying our wrong and aiming for that which is of the highest rank with Him. Thank you Allah.
Monthly Archives: March 2011
The things I touched, I left no traces,
where my footsteps took me,
other feet have erased me,
where my voice once echoed,
only the walls remember, as,
other voices have followed.
My smile will become a distant memory,
the sound of my laughter, something you will only see,
all will fade into a time that’s history,
every footstep….. every sound….. every touch…..
become all as if they had never been.
The stories time once told, will be replaced,
the lives that once unfolded, now eroded,
no permanence, all gone back or is it forward,
to where its intended.