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Monthly Archives: June 2016

Mini reflections: 7

Mini reflections: 7

Ramadan day 25. 2016

Not many words, Nothing to write,

Something is whispering,

Deep down inside,

Worthless me,

Undeserving self,

Trying to stop the bad thoughts,

Bubbling strongly inside.

Ya Allah, A servant like me is asking you, mighty Lord, to grant me something I know I do not deserve for I have no worth, but you can do anything. It is so easy for you.

It is hard for me,

As much as I try,

I try to be your servant,

Yet life drags me and slows all of my strides.

 

Ya Allah please, and I mean it,

Even though it is from someone like me,

Please I implore you,

grant me this one thing;

If I do not witness the night of decree,

Despite all of my efforts please write it for me,

Please do reward me as though I was a witness to it,

For if sleep over took me,

Then it did see me,

Reward me with like measure,

Even beyond,

For you this is easy,

I await uneasily,

I ask you sincerely,

In anticipation of your reply.

 

From a servant like me.

Ameen.

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Mini reflections: 6

Mini reflections: 6

Ramadan day 7, 2016

Reading, is all I am doing, trying to internalise, feel and understand this, this perfect gift to mankind, not just for me but for all of us, no matter where we are from or what we are like.

To us, all of us, it speaks, it directs, it warns.

For the silent, subdued, quiet, introvert, for the unsure, insecure, pondering thinker, small talker, for the loud, forceful, opinionated want to know it all thinks he knows it all but doesn’t know it all, know it all.

To us, all of us, it speaks, it directs, it warns.

We can all learn with hearts open, minds free from all that we think we know, we claim to know. If we could just read. Read more than what is on the page but connect and reflect, ponder at all the wonder.

To us, all of us, it speaks, it directs, it warns.

Really, the only miracle I need is to just get it, at the snap of a finger, yes, open my eyes and know that in my heart I just get it and that you can too, we all can, if we allow it to penetrate and let ourselves go to a place that which we have never let our hearts believe exists.

To us, all of us, it speaks, it directs, it warns.

This gift, a perfect gift, the true gift, the one thing that will never leave us, instead it will guide us, help us, teach us how to live and be free, truly free for our souls to  journey happily contented to our maker.

Al-Quran, Al-Kareem, to us, all of us, it speaks, it directs, it warns.

Now listen, stop hiding and go seek!

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Mini reflections: 5

Mini reflections: 5

Ramadan day 5, 2016

Repentance is like the rain as it falls, when one seeks it, it can gently wash away the dirt, slowly peeling away the unwanted layers of regrets and if only’s.

It can be gentle and peaceful, falling softly, kindly renewing it’s seeker, granting an internal pounding of hope, an uplifting sensation, like words floating up and away from the writer, the writer fondly gazing happily whilst letting their words go.

Thunder and lightning, loud and  frightening, repentance. Forced on bended knee, chest heaving, heart beating, tears streaming, sobs screaming, nobody is hearing, all alone, it’s just me.

Like tearing each word off the page, then reappearing, etching deeper, making it harder to reach. Oh please god just get rid of it!

A desperate servant with nothing but my own sinful deeds, I bow down in shame and put in my own heartfelt plea, maybe an angel will write down the words on my invisible sheet.

It is as though I am searching all the seas, deep down and beneath I am praying you hear me.

 

 
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Posted by on June 10, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Mini reflections: 4

Mini reflections: 4

Ramadan day 4, 2016

When I think of my life, I wonder so many wonders, how did I get here? when did this moment become one to look back upon?

Every year I evolve, change, take a few steps forward, and many more back only to re-walk a walk I have performed over and over, sometimes forgetting that I have actually been there before. So many repetitive feelings, stuck and unable to break through.

I wonder how other people see me? when I walk away, what are they thinking? did I do enough? enough to let them know, let them feel ME, despite not knowing who I really am.

O Allah allow me, Allow me to touch hearts and change minds and exude love, so much that other people feel ME, despite not knowing who I really am.

So many layers and years, so many journeys and paths, too many, that I cannot remember  and a million moments that have disappeared, have brought me to where I am today to be WHO I am today, right now, thinking what I think, doing what I do, feeling what I feel. Despite not knowing who I really am.

Oh Allah I am trying, I will keep trying, slowly realising, not to spend too much time, needing to know who I really am, but importantly, find YOU and get to know who YOU really are.

Oh Allah keep my heart firm, do not allow me to turn back or falter, hold me and help me, make me stronger.

 

 
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Posted by on June 9, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Mini reflections: 3

Mini reflections: 3

Ramadan day 3. 2016

My mission is Jannah, there is no room for compromise, sleep deprived I will be OK, I can rest when I get there. Hunger stops me in my tracks, I push on, this is training for when this moment, this month will surely end.

I am stocking up on all of my spiritual vitamins, I need to be on top form now to get me through the more difficult days.

I am sweating so hard, is this not enough?

No! there is a voice  that responds,

this is nothing my friend,

we have higher mountains to climb,

one day you will arrive,

just keep pushing and strive,

I will be by your side.

Helping me?

I feel so guilty inside,

I am wondering why?

I will not fail I decide,

faith in you is my life,

it is all I will take when I die……

All I will take when I die, when I die, I die.

 

 
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Posted by on June 9, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Mini reflections: 2

Mini reflections: 2

Ramadan Day 2. 2016

By the will of Allah we submit, submit to what He has ordained, searching, praying, hoping, no matter our short falls that he will forgive us, one day, that day, the most important day.

If I know where I came from, why I am here, and to where I am going, I have the answer to everything.

He knows I am here, when I turn to Him, He will guide me, He will help me through, He knows that I cannot do this alone, without Him surely I will fail.

As we submit to Him He provides the anchor by which we can steady ourselves and remain firm.

I do not have, yes but He will give, I cannot do, yes but He can, for you, I am unable, have no fear, He will enable you, I am so weak, and His strength is all that you need, but I am already lost, then stop. Go back, a step at a time and call His name, with every step He is already running to you.

Brave these waters, they were never meant to be calm.

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the call of he supplicant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright” (Quran: 2:186)

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Mini reflections: 1

Mini reflections: 1

Ramadan day 1, 2017.

This blessed time is an opportunity given to our souls to resurface, to re-emerge from all the clutter and refuse we have thrown upon it year round.

Arise worshipful servants, shake off the clutter, clean off the dust and walk while discarding that burdensome load.

Become light and gracious with every step that you take. Feel free again, feel bold again, let your soul soar and taste the sweetness of faith again.

Stand purified, stand strong, with a purpose, eventually to stand among, among those beautified souls for whom the toil and troubles of this life, no matter how hard will all be worth it…………………

For as long as you are not angry with us dear Lord.

“O My slaves! For you there is no fear this day, nor is it ye who grieve” (Quran: 43;68)

 
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Posted by on June 6, 2016 in Uncategorized