Ramadan day 4, 2016
When I think of my life, I wonder so many wonders, how did I get here? when did this moment become one to look back upon?
Every year I evolve, change, take a few steps forward, and many more back only to re-walk a walk I have performed over and over, sometimes forgetting that I have actually been there before. So many repetitive feelings, stuck and unable to break through.
I wonder how other people see me? when I walk away, what are they thinking? did I do enough? enough to let them know, let them feel ME, despite not knowing who I really am.
O Allah allow me, Allow me to touch hearts and change minds and exude love, so much that other people feel ME, despite not knowing who I really am.
So many layers and years, so many journeys and paths, too many, that I cannot remember and a million moments that have disappeared, have brought me to where I am today to be WHO I am today, right now, thinking what I think, doing what I do, feeling what I feel. Despite not knowing who I really am.
Oh Allah I am trying, I will keep trying, slowly realising, not to spend too much time, needing to know who I really am, but importantly, find YOU and get to know who YOU really are.
Oh Allah keep my heart firm, do not allow me to turn back or falter, hold me and help me, make me stronger.